I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
