I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
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i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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