I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
