I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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