Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
