cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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