so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I fill condoms, not promises.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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