Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Are my feet made of real feet?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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