garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
love makes seman taste better
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
