You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
