I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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