i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
