apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
