There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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