You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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