My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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