I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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