i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
