I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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