She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
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