The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just found puke in my bra..
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Randomize
