the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
