You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
