He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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