DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
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She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
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I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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