Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
