She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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