I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Michael Bay diarrhea
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
