Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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