Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
