Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
