Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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