after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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