is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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