So drunk its hurt
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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