i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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