the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
