you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
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She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
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he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked