all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
