Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half. http://tfl.nu/df8e
  Replies (27) Good night (4325) Bad night (1013)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there. http://tfl.nu/ar9u
  Replies (9) Good night (913) Bad night (2922)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps http://tfl.nu/14e5
  Replies (24) Good night (1422) Bad night (8274)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  meet me or not, i'm out of control

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): meet me or not, i'm out of control http://tfl.nu/t1zj
  Replies (29) Good night (3418) Bad night (670)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight. http://tfl.nu/5341
  Replies (8) Good night (553) Bad night (3092)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake" http://tfl.nu/m7yz
  Replies (12) Good night (3190) Bad night (1533)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  be sure to add "office slut" to your resume

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh (1-703): be sure to add "office slut" to your resume http://tfl.nu/3kje
  Replies (10) Good night (4791) Bad night (1009)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off http://tfl.nu/jc13
  Replies (13) Good night (898) Bad night (3801)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool. http://tfl.nu/a5su
  Replies (11) Good night (2860) Bad night (1018)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies. http://tfl.nu/fekw
  Replies (4) Good night (557) Bad night (1144)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude. http://tfl.nu/kqtp
  Replies (6) Good night (1582) Bad night (459)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even. http://tfl.nu/ebz9
  Replies (9) Good night (1338) Bad night (402)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life. http://tfl.nu/8lve
  Replies (5) Good night (654) Bad night (259)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Thats alot of pressure.

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): Thats alot of pressure. (1-813): Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house. http://tfl.nu/tdoy
  Replies (2) Good night (612) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing? http://tfl.nu/tt7s
  Replies (3) Good night (517) Bad night (243)

Randomize