It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
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come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
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I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."