some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.