she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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