Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
