I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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