i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
