It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I love having hate sex.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
