I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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