Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
