IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
It's blow job season.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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