Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize