She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
