i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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