we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
