FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
