i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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