so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
We need to get me chipped asap
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
