We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I could make wine with my vomit
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
