At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
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She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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