She's JV to your varsity
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
