I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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