Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
